Loving well

Happy Valentine's Day!  Yes, it's here - the day that recognizes coupledom and adds acid to the wounds of single people everywhere.

Its not really that bad, is it?  I do have to wonder what this day is really about.  Does it celebrate love or commercialism?  Is it possible to feel loved without receiving a dozen over-priced roses?  Can a person be grateful for a life well loved without having to receive another piece of jewelry?  How many of us are content knowing that we are with the one we love, even if he needs to be reminded of birthdays, anniversaries or where the laundry hamper is.

I'd like to think that I would think this way no matter my relationship status.   Isn't being loved enough?  And I don't just mean in an intimate/physical way.  A very wise friend once told me that the Native Americans define intimacy as the ability to see into another.  It has nothing to do with the secular, TV-promoted body-heated intensity that we have come to understand.  It means knowing someone deeply, honestly, truly.  It means looking past the masks that we wear so to come across as having it all together and seeing another's heart and soul in their natural, vulnerable state.  INTIMACY = Into Me You See.   

If I had one wish this Valentine's day, its that we remember that love comes in many forms.  It can be shown in the kisses of a neighbor dog or the coos of a tiny baby.  Its shown to us in the blooming of each beautiful flower and every sunrise.  Its in a short but sweet text or Email from a dear friend and in a coffee shop where friends sit together and share their lives with each other.   Love is all around.  It doesn't need to be bought.  That price was already paid.  It doesn't need to be delivered.  It was freely given  to everyone.  What an amazing thing to have  every day of the year.   So, this Valentine's day, I ask us all to stop and take a moment to give thanks for the love we all have in our lives, whether its from spouses, kids, parents, friends, pets or an amazing Savior.  Whatever your situation or status, YOU ARE LOVED.        

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is but to love and be loved in return."  Eden Abhez

Don't Let Your Fears Lead to a Life Filled with Regrets

Written by Cliff Young

I just read a somewhat depressing article describing secret regrets of twenty-something men.  It was a collection of short testimonials from guys who weren't able to share their feelings with someone they really cared about, who let their "true love" get away, who weren't able to forgive a wrong and who hurt someone they had loved.

I was somewhat surprised, yet inspired, at their honest heartfelt admission of (self-described) insecurity, selfishness, mistakes, cowardliness and immaturity, mostly because they were made by a group of young (probably non-Christian) guys in today's society.

No matter what the age group, religious background, or economic status though, most men, and I would include myself in this, probably share some of these along with a number of other regrets from their past.

So, what is it that holds us back from doing what we really want to do and what we know to be right?

Paul ponders this in Romans 7:18, "For even though the desire to do good is in me, I am not able to do it."

Are we just going along with what other people think or say we should do?  Do we not care?   Are we trying to take the easy (or lazy) road?  Do we put more emphasis on ourselves and our pride than others?  Or are our decisions (or non-decisions) based upon some aspect of fear—fear of failure, fear of being vulnerable, fear of being embarrassed, fear of appearing weak or fear of making the wrong choice?

Fear can be contagious, spread from the pessimism of those around us, and seems to be the common denominator in many aspects of our life today. 

We are fearful of losing our jobs, our investments and our homes, we fear international terrorism, we fear where the nation is headed, we fear the stock market's volatility, we are influenced by the fear of what a person may do in political office, we are fearful of starting a new relationship, we fear being alone, and we fear what we do not understand. 

We don't draw conclusions based on facts, sound biblical advice and our hearts, but rather on fear.  When we make our choices (or avoid them) in this way, they often result in regret—for not doing what we believe in, for not being ourselves or for worrying about things we cannot control.

If we reflect upon yesterday with regrets and tomorrow with fear, we are not content in our situation or the lives we are leading.  Wouldn't we rather have regret for not doing what people say or for almost anything else than regret not doing what our heart tells us to and wonder how our lives would have been different if we had?

As children, many of us grew up with the thought that nothing could touch us or harm us.  We felt invincible and lived fearlessly.  However, somewhere between then and now, we lost that assurance, that "I can do anything" spirit.  At some point in our lives, fear took its place, influenced by society, parents, friends, experiences or from a number of other sources.  As we "matured," many of those fears developed and became second nature to us, and we have grown to accept it and it in us.   Today our fears often dictate how we live.


So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).


Fear is referenced hundreds of times in the Bible, but in the majority of cases it speaks of fearing the Lord, which brings peace and confidence, not fear of circumstances.  So, how do we face our fears so we don't live with regrets?  We accept and trust in the perfect love of the Lord.  We ask him for his direction and peace.  We trust him in our situations, and after much prayer we step out in confidence.


There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:18-19).

As Peter stepped out of the boat in faith in the midst of a storm to meet Jesus walking on water (Matthew 14:29), each of us needs to step out in those "fearful" situations if we are going to take advantage of the opportunities we are given.

Scripture reassures us, "No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it" (Romans 10:11).

Don't allow your fears or doubts to rob you from your heart's desire.  Don't end up like the other disciples, who cowered in the boat and followed the group.  Get up, take a step out and trust God like your life depended upon it and like there is no tomorrow.  You won't be disappointed and you won't regret it.


Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
— Corrie Ten Boom