Life is good but life is short. With all of the death I've heard of or experienced recently, I'm beginning to realize just how true that it. Just last month, a former high school classmate died after being involved in a motorcycle accident. He was 42.
I wish I knew how long I would be on this earth. I wish I knew when God destined to bring me home to Him. The fact is I don't know and I never will until the time when I am called home. Its scary to think I have no control over this. I have no say in where or when or how.
Dylan Thomas wrote "Do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they do not go gentle into that good night." Does that mean we should fight death? That we should tell God when we feel our time is up? Not at all. At least that's not how I read it.
I was given one chance - one life with which to do something. Anything. Do I use it to sit on the couch and watch the parade go by from the window? Do I try to discover a cure for cancer? Do I venture out into the great big world? Do I raise conscientious kids to be environmentally aware? Do I wait for something to happen? Do I smile at the one person who needs it most and maybe save his/her life by one simple gesture?
All of these are possible for me. I have done some, I will do others and I can still help with others. That's was great about life. The possibilities are endless. When I look down a tunnel, I tend to see only the darkness and not the long stretch of road that has no limits. I limit myself.
As I await God's plan for my life, its time to do something. I have decided to make something happen at least once each year. This year, I will go to Ireland/Scotland in July. I have never crossed the Atlantic Ocean and the idea of it scares me but it will be an adventure I will never forget. I have also wanted to visit every state at least once in my lifetime so its time to make that happen as well. I have at least 10 states under my belt but have a long way to go. With friends in Florida, Texas and North Carolina, I have even more reasons.
Life happens whether we want it to or not. Time to get moving. Life is for the living and I ain't dead yet.
Sun setting In Cuzco, Peru
March 20, 2011
The Best Loved Doll
When I was a kid, one of my favorite stories was called "The Best Loved Doll". Its the story of a girl who gets invited to a party where prizes will be given for the oldest doll, the best-dressed doll, and the doll who can do the most things. The girl looks through her collection of dolls - some beautiful, some elaborately dressed, some with many talents. The competition is fierce and the suspense mounts as the girl looks over all of her dolls, trying to decide which one to take. She finally decides on a raggedy, well worn doll whose rough appearance and tattered clothes impress no one but the girl. This doll is the girl's favorite and best loved.
That doll is me - cracked and damaged, worn and ragged. I have a lifetime of painful experiences that contribute to the wear and tear of every day life. So much of me is broken, and parts of me are missing. All around me are women more beautiful, thin, wonderfully dressed, perfect. Sometimes, I see that I am a mess when I compare myself to them. I see women training for marathons when it hurts me sometimes to walk because if a back issue. I envy women in high heeled shoes and skinny jeans with precisely applied make up and flawless hair knowing heels aggravates my back, my fat jeans are tight, the cold sore on my face feels like Mt Vesuvius and the grays are overtaking the browns. I hear of weddings and newborn babies realizing that, at this moment, it is just me.
Sometimes that stuff gets me down. But, like the doll in the story, I know that no matter how I look or how broken I am, I am still loved. I have the love of friends and family, of church and Father, Son & Holy Spirit. And I know that if I am who I was created to be and live my life in the way I was created to live, I will be giving as well as receiving love. Aches and pains, wrinkles and grays are a part of who I am. And that's ok. Because no matter what, I will always be the best loved me.
That doll is me - cracked and damaged, worn and ragged. I have a lifetime of painful experiences that contribute to the wear and tear of every day life. So much of me is broken, and parts of me are missing. All around me are women more beautiful, thin, wonderfully dressed, perfect. Sometimes, I see that I am a mess when I compare myself to them. I see women training for marathons when it hurts me sometimes to walk because if a back issue. I envy women in high heeled shoes and skinny jeans with precisely applied make up and flawless hair knowing heels aggravates my back, my fat jeans are tight, the cold sore on my face feels like Mt Vesuvius and the grays are overtaking the browns. I hear of weddings and newborn babies realizing that, at this moment, it is just me.
Sometimes that stuff gets me down. But, like the doll in the story, I know that no matter how I look or how broken I am, I am still loved. I have the love of friends and family, of church and Father, Son & Holy Spirit. And I know that if I am who I was created to be and live my life in the way I was created to live, I will be giving as well as receiving love. Aches and pains, wrinkles and grays are a part of who I am. And that's ok. Because no matter what, I will always be the best loved me.
February 13, 2011
Loving well
Happy Valentine's Day! Yes, it's here - the day that recognizes coupledom and adds acid to the wounds of single people everywhere.
Its not really that bad, is it? I do have to wonder what this day is really about. Does it celebrate love or commercialism? Is it possible to feel loved without receiving a dozen over-priced roses? Can a person be grateful for a life well loved without having to receive another piece of jewelry? How many of us are content knowing that we are with the one we love, even if he needs to be reminded of birthdays, anniversaries or where the laundry hamper is.
I'd like to think that I would think this way no matter my relationship status. Isn't being loved enough? And I don't just mean in an intimate/physical way. A very wise friend once told me that the Native Americans define intimacy as the ability to see into another. It has nothing to do with the secular, TV-promoted body-heated intensity that we have come to understand. It means knowing someone deeply, honestly, truly. It means looking past the masks that we wear so to come across as having it all together and seeing another's heart and soul in their natural, vulnerable state. INTIMACY = Into Me You See.
If I had one wish this Valentine's day, its that we remember that love comes in many forms. It can be shown in the kisses of a neighbor dog or the coos of a tiny baby. Its shown to us in the blooming of each beautiful flower and every sunrise. Its in a short but sweet text or Email from a dear friend and in a coffee shop where friends sit together and share their lives with each other. Love is all around. It doesn't need to be bought. That price was already paid. It doesn't need to be delivered. It was freely given to everyone. What an amazing thing to have every day of the year. So, this Valentine's day, I ask us all to stop and take a moment to give thanks for the love we all have in our lives, whether its from spouses, kids, parents, friends, pets or an amazing Savior. Whatever your situation or status, YOU ARE LOVED.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is but to love and be loved in return." Eden Abhez
Its not really that bad, is it? I do have to wonder what this day is really about. Does it celebrate love or commercialism? Is it possible to feel loved without receiving a dozen over-priced roses? Can a person be grateful for a life well loved without having to receive another piece of jewelry? How many of us are content knowing that we are with the one we love, even if he needs to be reminded of birthdays, anniversaries or where the laundry hamper is.
I'd like to think that I would think this way no matter my relationship status. Isn't being loved enough? And I don't just mean in an intimate/physical way. A very wise friend once told me that the Native Americans define intimacy as the ability to see into another. It has nothing to do with the secular, TV-promoted body-heated intensity that we have come to understand. It means knowing someone deeply, honestly, truly. It means looking past the masks that we wear so to come across as having it all together and seeing another's heart and soul in their natural, vulnerable state. INTIMACY = Into Me You See.
If I had one wish this Valentine's day, its that we remember that love comes in many forms. It can be shown in the kisses of a neighbor dog or the coos of a tiny baby. Its shown to us in the blooming of each beautiful flower and every sunrise. Its in a short but sweet text or Email from a dear friend and in a coffee shop where friends sit together and share their lives with each other. Love is all around. It doesn't need to be bought. That price was already paid. It doesn't need to be delivered. It was freely given to everyone. What an amazing thing to have every day of the year. So, this Valentine's day, I ask us all to stop and take a moment to give thanks for the love we all have in our lives, whether its from spouses, kids, parents, friends, pets or an amazing Savior. Whatever your situation or status, YOU ARE LOVED.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is but to love and be loved in return." Eden Abhez
February 6, 2011
Don't Let Your Fears Lead to a Life Filled with Regrets
Written by Cliff Young
I just read a somewhat depressing article describing secret regrets of twenty-something men. It was a collection of short testimonials from guys who weren't able to share their feelings with someone they really cared about, who let their "true love" get away, who weren't able to forgive a wrong and who hurt someone they had loved.
I was somewhat surprised, yet inspired, at their honest heartfelt admission of (self-described) insecurity, selfishness, mistakes, cowardliness and immaturity, mostly because they were made by a group of young (probably non-Christian) guys in today's society.
No matter what the age group, religious background, or economic status though, most men, and I would include myself in this, probably share some of these along with a number of other regrets from their past.
So, what is it that holds us back from doing what we really want to do and what we know to be right?
Paul ponders this in Romans 7:18, "For even though the desire to do good is in me, I am not able to do it."
Are we just going along with what other people think or say we should do? Do we not care? Are we trying to take the easy (or lazy) road? Do we put more emphasis on ourselves and our pride than others? Or are our decisions (or non-decisions) based upon some aspect of fear—fear of failure, fear of being vulnerable, fear of being embarrassed, fear of appearing weak or fear of making the wrong choice?
Fear can be contagious, spread from the pessimism of those around us, and seems to be the common denominator in many aspects of our life today.
We are fearful of losing our jobs, our investments and our homes, we fear international terrorism, we fear where the nation is headed, we fear the stock market's volatility, we are influenced by the fear of what a person may do in political office, we are fearful of starting a new relationship, we fear being alone, and we fear what we do not understand.
We don't draw conclusions based on facts, sound biblical advice and our hearts, but rather on fear. When we make our choices (or avoid them) in this way, they often result in regret—for not doing what we believe in, for not being ourselves or for worrying about things we cannot control.
If we reflect upon yesterday with regrets and tomorrow with fear, we are not content in our situation or the lives we are leading. Wouldn't we rather have regret for not doing what people say or for almost anything else than regret not doing what our heart tells us to and wonder how our lives would have been different if we had?
As children, many of us grew up with the thought that nothing could touch us or harm us. We felt invincible and lived fearlessly. However, somewhere between then and now, we lost that assurance, that "I can do anything" spirit. At some point in our lives, fear took its place, influenced by society, parents, friends, experiences or from a number of other sources. As we "matured," many of those fears developed and became second nature to us, and we have grown to accept it and it in us. Today our fears often dictate how we live.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).
Fear is referenced hundreds of times in the Bible, but in the majority of cases it speaks of fearing the Lord, which brings peace and confidence, not fear of circumstances. So, how do we face our fears so we don't live with regrets? We accept and trust in the perfect love of the Lord. We ask him for his direction and peace. We trust him in our situations, and after much prayer we step out in confidence.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:18-19).
As Peter stepped out of the boat in faith in the midst of a storm to meet Jesus walking on water (Matthew 14:29), each of us needs to step out in those "fearful" situations if we are going to take advantage of the opportunities we are given.
Scripture reassures us, "No one who trusts God like this—heart and soul—will ever regret it" (Romans 10:11).
Don't allow your fears or doubts to rob you from your heart's desire. Don't end up like the other disciples, who cowered in the boat and followed the group. Get up, take a step out and trust God like your life depended upon it and like there is no tomorrow. You won't be disappointed and you won't regret it.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
— Corrie Ten Boom
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