When is "enough" enough?

The current series we're discussing at church for the next several months is called "R U 4 Me?"  It explores whether or not we are living our lives for God.

Today's talk asks us to identify what we are doing, if anything.  With so many charities and needs in this world, its hard to choose.  And then to know that what we do is enough.  Will it ever be enough?  I am an emergency placement foster parent.  I take in lost dogs and track down their owners.  I tithe.  I have been on missions trips.  I contribute to the mail carrier's annual food drive.  I donate to the Humane society.  I never say "No thanks" to a kid selling discount cards for school or a church bake sale.  My ways are small but they are what I do.  What more can I do?  Why don't I do more?  Is there a fine line between enough and too much?

I have 3 dreams - to volunteer at an animal rehab center in Alaska, to work at an orphanage in Peru and to be married and raise a family in a healthy and loving home.  These are all of my dreams but they may never come to pass.  I am frustrated by the thought that I have to relinquish those to the greater will of God who already has my life planned out.  Its so hard to sit in a place of waiting, putting my life in His hands and believing that His will is being done in me this very minute.  

#3 - Being a woman of my... uh, maturity, I have to face the reality that having children of my own grows dim with each passing year.  Yes, anything is possible with God but I would rather not be 80 when my first born graduates from high school.   Never mind the fact that I am single and there are no stable prospects on the horizon.  So I have been toying with the idea of adopting a child.   The problem that I have with that is my belief that every child has the right to be raised by healthy, loving parents (plural) of the opposite sex.  Yes, a man and a woman.  I could NOT teach a boy how to be a man of God, no matter how hard I tried.  So, the adoption option is on hold.   

#2 - Eagle's Nest is an orphanage in Limatambo, Peru.  Our group visited it on the way to Macchu Pichu last year and I fell in love with it.  Eagle's Nest is a school where kids from miles away walk to daily as well as a home for homeless, abandoned Peruvian children.  The video below is a class that sang to us.  The little girl in the picture above is Lisbeth, a 7 year old girl who was found in a shanty in Lima taking care of her 8 month old sister.  Being there did so much to rock my world and I haven't been able to forget that place or that face.
Shortly after I returned from my trip, I was faced with the possibility of losing my job to budget cuts and I would be out of work.  I promised God that if that was His will then I would return to Limatambo and work at that orphanage.  Well, my job was spared and I am still in WA.  Strike 2.

#3 - my plan is to take the summer off from work and go to Alaska to volunteer at an animal sanctuary,  scooping moose poop, feeding fawn and doing whatever needs to be done.  Its not possible at the moment as I have a dog with separation anxiety issues and I'm not sure she could handle me being gone for that long.  As it is, whenever I leave on a trip, she refuses to eat for the first few days.  Eventually, her hunger gets the best of her but my house sitters all say the same thing - she mopes the entire time.  I can justify leaving my 15 year old baby for a week or two but that's it.  I know my time with her is limited though and I will sacrifice this for the love and adoration of my best friend, Missy.

So here I sit, wondering what God wants from me, yet again.  Am I doing enough? Do small acts of charity and kindness count?  Or are we called to take giant leaps of faith, abandon everything and follow Him, no matter where the road lead?

"You live among the least of these - the weary and the weak.  And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away...  Use my hands, use my feet to make your kingdom come to the corners of the earth until your work is done." - Leeland