In Search of Cheers

Today is Sunday, a day that is synonymous with church because its when most church goers go to church.  I was raised Catholic therefore I learned early on that church was an obligation.  To miss was a sin that needed to be confessed.  I dreaded confession more than anything so I went to church and fulfilled my obligation.

Fast forward 15 years - I finally find a Catholic church  St Catherine of Alexandria (SCOA)- where I feel welcomed and like I belong.  I became involved in several ministries and was known to many.  I was "Norm" and church was Cheers - the place where everybody knew my name.  Leaving it to move to Bellingham was hard to do.

It has been 10 years since I moved up and I have yet to find a church like SCOA.  I have tried several different places and denominations but none seem to fit.  The local Catholic churches are about families, having babies or being retired.  The non-denoms feel more like mega WalMarts.  I have gotten involved in two small groups at my current church but it still doesn't feel like home to me.
I should be at church today but I would rather stay home, watching squirrels collect the peanuts I put out for them.  I find so much contentment seeing birds eat out of the feeder.  I'd prefer cooking and baking to being in a room full of strangers.  I know God is there but going to worship leaves me feeling even more alone.  I find God in little things like TV shows on animal rescues or watching deer walk across my lawn.

Is it wrong to not want to go to church?  I know church is also about community but there is no sense of community for me there.  And the thought of trying out another church doesn't appeal to me, either.   I wish I knew what to do.  I wish I liked going to church.  I wish I felt like I belonged somewhere.