Lamentations

Church recently did a series on lamentation.  Not a real pick-me-up topic but an honest part of life.  We we asked to write one of our own which included being vulnerable with God and honest with ourselves.
I was skeptical when I sat down to write mine but it didn't take long.  It is honest and true but, gratefully, not a daily dwelling place.  And I am including it here so I can refer to it in the future, when I forget to thank Him for my joy. 

Hillcrest lamentation:

Lord,
For so long, I have called out to you, wanting comfort, wanting to hear you tell me that you hear me, that you haven’t forgotten me.  Still, I wait for an answer or for something that says my sadness and loneliness will soon end. 

My heart aches, Father, for all of the pain I’ve experienced recently.  There is nothing but darkness around me.  I have no family, no friends, no spouse, no children.  All around me are people laughing and living.  I see so much happiness being shared in families and communities but I am not a part of that.  I am an outsider.  I want so desperately to belong somewhere and to someone.  Why am I alone?  What did I do to deserve this life?  I have nothing, Lord but a broken, empty heart.  How many times have I cried out to you, begging for this to end only to face another day isolated and alone?  Sometimes, it’s too much to bear and I begin to believe that you ignore me and have rejected me.  I lose hope.

My head questions you but my heart knows the truth. Lord, I know you love me and have plans to prosper me like you did with Job.  You call me beautiful, friend, bride.  You are faithful.  You fill my needs, you watch over me, you hold me when I cry.  You drown out the voices that tell me I am nothing, I have no value.  You have revealed yourself to me in countless ways that I cannot deny.  In you, I have everything I desire. 

Help me, Father, to desire and submit to you.  Only you can fill the emptiness inside of me.