Trusting God

It has been a while since I've had the chance to sit in my favorite coffee shop to surf the web and watch the world go by downtown Bellingham.  I've missed this!

There seems to be a recurring theme in my life right now and that is TRUST.  I struggle daily with trusting others and the thought of meeting a man and trusting him with my heart scares the beejeezus out of me.  Do I want to live alone forever?  No.  But the idea of permanently allowing someone into my life is even more intimidating than being single.  Rock - ME - Hard place.

Since I've been sick for the past 2 weeks, I haven't gone to church.  Well, I went today and guess what the sermon was about.  Yep, trust.  Its funny that this was the topic after all of the other Sundays that I missed.  I think God is trying to tell me something.  I wonder what that is...

I'm 5 weeks into year 3 of Living Waters and it is going ok so far.  I missed one lesson due to my illness.  And to be quite honest, I'm not really looking forward to this year.  But, I know I need it and it will be a good thing.  Rather than drop out and take a year off, I have to trust that God will do His best work thru LW and will help me work through my trust issues.  I have to trust my leaders and know they will speak God's truth into my life.  This will be especially challenging for me as I was expecting to be in a different group where I know God would have spoken to me.  And I have to trust the women in my group, to know they won't look down on me or judge me as I share my hurts or issues.  I pray we bond as I know I would be more open if we did.  Time will tell.  

Of one thing I am certain, I will be happy to see this year come to an end in a few short months.  It has been one filled with challenges and pain so I will happily celebrate the coming of a new and better year.  And I trust it will be a good year, 2011.  I think it will be one of my best and I look forward to it.  

Happy Halloween 2010!